Awakening

Freddie
Awakening collage 2020

My birth name is Karen Eigo, but professionally I go by Golda Disc Eigo or Golda Eigo. I can’t write about this without talking of Freddie Mercury. In the off chance that he needs an introduction he was the front man of the rock group Queen who died of AIDS in 1991. He had this lovely habit of renaming people, most often with a name of the opposite sex. So why Golda Disc? There was this record producer he knew who had a lot of gold discs and he renamed him Golda Disc and I fell in love right then and there. For you see I owe my life to Freddie. I was miserable in life at the time I read this…a 60 year old woman who was fed up with her life yet stuck. I was doing pottery then and I had a website yet depressed with it all. Then I started reading about Freddie and watching his videos and his sheer joy and exuberance knocked me down. I wanted to feel that. So I stopped my life. And in stopping my life collage emerged in it. I just let my life come to me in a sense and come it did. A passion that I had ceased to feel started slapping me in the face. And slowly I became Golda Disc Eigo.

But this story is not only about me. It is about all of us who feel our stomachs drop when we think about what we are doing. It is about all of us who fell into things and just kept going in spite of what our guts were telling us. For life is meant to be filled with what we love and finding that can be damned illusive. We are raised to think we have to get a good “education”, then a job, then a mate, then a house, then the kids and the cars and random other things. I am sure that there are some people who are very happy doing that. But the indoctrination is so strong from the time we are born that it is hard to escape it. I was lucky. I didn’t have children to think about so I could take the leap of stopping my life dead and letting it come to me.

So how to continue this blog without sounding hokey? Life is meant to fulfill us, to give us joy and meaning and not to be tolerated and gotten through. How each of us does this is such a sacred quest. I think the only thing that has ever truly, deeply scared me is being on my death bed and feeling regretful, feeling cheated at this thing called life. Of course living is hard with its share of personal tragedies, but ultimately it should be about wonder. For there are so many wondrous things on this earth and some mind blowing beauty as well. So I wish for us all that we continue with our lives in the spirit of exuberance. And for that feeling of exuberance that is now a part of my life, for that awakening, I owe Freddie Mercury. Or as he was known to his closest friends, Melina.

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